


i hope you will forget (the flaws i had before because i haven't lost them yet)

by deepestfathoms



Category: The Prom (2020), The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Alyssa Greene needs a hug, Anxiety, Domestic Fluff, Emma Nolan Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Found Family, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Recovery, Temporary Character Death, greenelan baby!!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29948178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestfathoms/pseuds/deepestfathoms
Summary: What happened on Edwards Island used to pop into Alyssa's head every day. And then every week. And then every month. And then a year had passed and she realized she hadn't thought about it at all.Now, ten years later, she was married, expecting her first child, and completely happy with her life. But when her dreams seem to turn more into visions, she realizes she can't keep running from her memories and fear forever. No matter how hard she tries, one thing keeps cycling right back to the front of her mind:is leave possible?
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan, Emma Nolan & Kevin (The Prom Musical), Greg/Kevin (The Prom Musical), Kaylee/Shelby (The Prom Musical)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. olly olly oxenfree

**Author's Note:**

> a sequel to 'let the lower lights be burning' that absolutely nobody asked for!!! you don't have to read that to read this- this fic kinda covers everything that happened on the island.
> 
> this fic is gonna work on a two chapter basis for each post! one chapter will be present time, and the other with be one of the many time loops!

“It’s a girl.”

Alyssa stared at the screen with wide eyes, a smile coming to her lips. At her side, Emma was squeezing her arm tightly and doing a little happy dance with the biggest, brightest grin she had ever seen before. 

“It’s a girl!” Emma whispered to her excitedly. “ _ She’s  _ a  _ girl! _ ”

Alyssa chuckled lovingly. “I heard the doctor, darling.”

“Here you can see her hands,” The doctor said, pointing out tiny little digits on the screen. “And here’s her feet.”

“She has hands!” Emma proclaimed to Alyssa, shaking her arm. “ _ And feet! _ ”

“I see, dear,” Alyssa said with the same endearing tone from before.

“Everything looks okay,” The doctor told them. “Perfectly healthy.”

Alyssa’s smile grew wider at those words. It made her heart flutter in her chest. She was starting to feel like her jittery wife, who had yet to seize her happy feet.

“Thank you,” Alyssa said.

The doctor smiled back at her and then began to wipe the ultrasound gel off of Alyssa’s swollen stomach. Now that she was in her fifth month of pregnancy, such a visit to the doctor was mandatory, and it always made Alyssa nervous. She supposed it was just natural for a mother to worry about her unborn child- these hormones were throwing her calm, collected demeanor all out of whack. But to hear that everything was fine with her baby- her  _ daughter _ , she could rest easy once again.

And then, as the doctor was turning off all the machinery used for the ultrasound, the screen gave a buzz of static in resistance to having its power shut, and Alyssa’s heart leapt into her throat. 

Her hand shot to her stomach, like she was expecting something to come for her baby--but as if her feeble fingers could protect her daughter from the thing she feared the most, even after all these years. She glanced up at Emma and saw that her wife had lost her radiant expression and was now rigid at her side.

It didn’t matter if it had been ten years since the incident, Edwards Island continued to keep a vice on their minds.

After everything, after all her therapy and suppression, Alyssa still vividly remembered the ferry ride home. The joy and relief at getting off that damn rock, and then the anguish and tears, so many tears, because they all realized what they had to leave behind to be able to leave themselves.

The part, though- the worst part was what came after. 

Alyssa remembered freezing when she walked into her house and saw her mom. She didn’t know how to tell her that her other daughter, the baby she was finally reunited with (turns out she WAS the reason for their blood connection, not her father), wasn’t there. She didn’t want to say it because saying it would make it all real. She really wasn’t coming back.

It ended up being Kaylee who told Veronica the news- that her youngest daughter was gone.

That  _ Winnie  _ was gone.

And Alyssa remembered the way her mother had collapsed to the floor like a bird with broken wings, crying so loud the whole neighborhood could probably hear her screams. And she remembered calling the police and the search parties and Veronica holding out hope for the longest time, no matter how empty-handed everyone turned up. But after two weeks of nothing, the case went cold, and everyone had to come to terms with Winnie most likely being dead.

They had no body to bury. The casket was filled with photos and a few trinkets and a world’s worth of grief. Alyssa remembered gazing into it and thinking about how quick it all happened, as if it were all just one big blur.

She hadn’t known Winnie for long, but she liked what she had gotten to know. She knew that her little sister was-  _ had been  _ anxious, timid, and soft-spoken, but also very sweet and excitable and as affectionate as a baby puppy. 

She wished she had gotten more time with her.

(†ïmê. jµ§† †ïmê.)

Alyssa went into therapy shortly after. They all did- Emma and Kaylee and Kevin. And they all had to lie about what happened on the island because saying ninety-seven angry ghosts who died on the sinking of a submarine seventy-seven years ago tried to use their bodies as vessels would probably only make them sound even more insane, and they  _ really  _ didn’t need to be thrown into an institution. 

Over time, Alyssa got over what had happened on Edwards Island, though the memories continued to linger. Even now, twenty-eight years old and married and expecting her first child, she still had a hard time hearing static. Emma did, too.

But they were coping. And they were living. And they were moving on.

And yet, the static continued to buzz in Alyssa’s brain as she got into Emma’s truck to ride home. 

“I was thinking about EJ!”

Alyssa blinked and looked away from the window. 

“EJ?” She echoed.

“Emma Jr.!” Emma declared confidently, puffing her chest out as she began pulling out of the doctor’s office’s parking lot. “Isn’t that a good name? ‘Cause I think it’s an  _ amazing  _ name.”

Alyssa laughed. “I think one of you is enough.”

“Nuh-uh!” Emma protested. “I’m great!”

Alyssa laughed again, but this time it rang hollow in her throat. Her smile faded as she looked out at the passing buildings. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Emma glance at her worriedly.

“Did you really hate the name that much?” Emma tried to joke, wanting to make her smile, but Alyssa couldn’t smile with everything that was on her mind.

“No, no,” Alyssa shook her head. “It’s not that.”

Emma shifted in her seat. Alyssa knew she didn’t want to bring  _ it  _ up, she never did like talking about the island, but she eventually reluctantly asked: “Is it about…the static?”

“Yeah,” Alyssa nodded. She sighed. “Sorry, I know you don’t--”

“No, no,” Emma quickly said. “It’s alright. It got to me, too. But it’s just a noise, don’t worry. We’re safe. We’re here.”

“I know,” Alyssa said. “But…” 

She could tell her wife knew what she was going to say next. 

“The dreams, though…”

“Just let it go, Alyssa!”

“Come on, Emma! It’s strange! We’ve been fine all this time and then after, what, ten years, our free trial on no weird occurrences just expires?”

“It’s probably nothing. Or just, like, a relapse or something like that! We have trauma!”

“No, Emma. This-- those dreams-- they aren’t regular dreams.”

“Then it’s a nightmare. Again, trauma.”

“They’re not nightmares, either. I  _ know  _ nightmares, Emma. I’m like the empress of nightmares. Those aren’t them.”

Emma’s fingers white-knuckled the steering wheel, and, for a brief, terrifying moment, Alyssa thought this conversation was going to ruin her happy marriage, and she considered stopping right then and there.

And then the car passed a triangle-shaped building, some kind of restaurant, she believed, and knew she couldn’t just shove this away. Not anymore.

“Emma,” Alyssa lowered her voice. “Something is-- something is wrong.”

“The baby?” Emma said worriedly.

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “ _ No _ , not the baby. Stop trying to change the subject.”

Emma’s shoulders slumped. “I know, I just--”

“We can’t keep running from it.”

“I’m not running!” Emma yelled, and the sharpness of her voice made Alyssa frown. She sighed. “I’m driving… Clearly…”

That got a small chuckle out of Alyssa.

“I just-- I dunno…” Emma didn’t look at her. “It’s freaking me out.”

“I know, darling,” Alyssa said. “But…it feels like some sort of sign. It’s--”

“ _ No. _ ”

“It’s calling us.”

“ _ No! _ ”

The truck jerked slightly with Emma’s outburst, and one of Alyssa’s hands shot up to the handle, while the other covered her stomach protectively.

“Okay, pull over. I’m driving.”

* * *

Emma brooded for the remainder of the drive home, hunched in the corner of the passenger’s seat, glaring out the window at everything that passed by. Alyssa kept glancing at her worriedly, as if she were expecting her to throw open the door and jump out of the moving truck at any moment. Luckily, though, that fear was all in her head and they made it home safely.

After college and marriage, Alyssa and Emma moved to a cozy town in the upper corner of Indiana, near Michigan. It was close enough to be around their family and friends, but far enough where it was a comfortable distance away from the island so they wouldn’t accidentally pass the ferry stand while driving. Alyssa became a speech therapist, wanting to help people the same way she had been helped, while Emma ran her own music store and was currently working on becoming an actual musician. 

The sky was grey, but the highway was long gone. The road that the rustic blue truck Emma insisted on keeping after all these years was traveling down was now winding, shady, and lined with lawns and houses nestled in patches of lush woodland. Not pines like the ones that had littered Edwards Island, but thick-trunked oaks and majestic maples. On sunny summer days, their leaves had always lent a soft, green-gold glow to the acorn-strewn sidewalks. The houses were nice. Not mansions or anything, but still big- the sort with porches and trellises and big bay windows that looked out onto foliage-dappled yards.

It was a nice neighborhood and they had an equally-nice house. Somewhere good for raising kids. Not too rural, but not right in the middle of the city, either. The kind of place where there were trees to hang rope-swings off of, which Emma had already excitedly set up for their upcoming child (and promptly fell off of because she put it up wrong and the rope snapped underneath her weight so she shamefully had to call their friend, Nick, to help), and streets where the cars drive slow.

Far away from big bodies of water.

After parking the truck next to her own car, a white Mazda CX-9, Alyssa and Emma sat in silence for a few minutes. Alyssa kept glancing over at Emma worriedly, but Emma never said anything to her. After a moment longer, Alyssa finally got out.

The air still smelled the same as it always had been. It was thick, sweet and heavy with the scent of the flowers that Alyssa had insisted on planting in every spare inch of property that wasn't already covered in lawn. Honeysuckles, irises, lilacs, speedwells, cornflowers, purple asters, hydrangeas, tassel flowers, and monkshoods came bursting in walls of color along the edges of the yard and the corner of the house, around which there were even more. A trellis threaded through with morning glories, crawled up the side of the house, and a small row of flowering trees that had been there when they’d moved in stood on the side of the driveway, where they would paint the pavement with little white polka-dots every year when they shed their petals.

Dimly, she heard the passenger door open and close as Emma got out of the car as well. She didn’t waste a moment darting towards the front door and letting herself in. Alyssa followed close behind her.

Each porch step felt taller than the last as her shoes clunked on the damp wood. When she reached the top, she felt like she’d climbed a lot more than three. A wave of dizziness washed over her and she swayed woozily, grabbing for the railing with one hand to steady herself for a moment before moving on. She was lucky Emma hadn’t seen that- her wife already fretted over every little thing she did.

The swing that hung by the rail of the porch creaked back and forth gently as she passed it on her way to the door. Leaves and petals speckled the birch wood. Alyssa remembered sitting on it a few months back with Emma and presenting the positive pregnancy test that started this all, to which Emma jumped up at in glee and promptly tripped down the porch steps while doing a happy dance.

Upon entering the house, Alyssa was immediately greeted by a goldendoodle that was way happier than she and Emma both felt. Alyssa wished she could be that blissfully oblivious to everything all the time.

“Easy, Nugget,” Alyssa said with a light chuckle when the dog tried to jump on her. “Yes, yes, hello to you, too!”

There was a meow from the living room- a white and grey cat was sitting on the arm of the couch.

“Hello to you as well, Tea Cake,” Alyssa said.

Alyssa walked to the kitchen, where Emma was busying loudly herself with pots and pans.

“Emma,” Alyssa said, but Emma didn’t answer or even look at her. “Emma!”

Emma slammed a frying pan down and glared at the stove. Alyssa walked over to her and cupped her cheeks. Turning her head to her, Alyssa realized her wife was crying.

“Oh, darling...” Alyssa murmured, thumbing away some of Emma’s tears. “Shh, shh... It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I know,” Emma sniffled. “I-I just--”

“Shh,” Alyssa kissed her gently. “It’s alright, baby.”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Emma said. “Or her. B-because in my dreams--”

Alyssa frowned. Her worry increased tenfold. “What?”

“In my dreams, they...” Emma’s voice was thick with terror. Alyssa hadn’t seen her this scared since That Night. “They...possess...them. The baby. Our daughter. And they--” She sobbed and buried her face in Alyssa’s neck.

“Oh, Emma,” Alyssa pulled Emma into a tight hug. “Sweetie... Why didn’t you ever tell me? You shouldn’t have had to keep all that inside of you.”

“I know,” Emma said. “I just didn’t wanna worry you...”

“You can tell me anything, Emma,” Alyssa said. “Anything.”

Emma nodded. Alyssa kissed her again, and Emma whimpered against her lips. She stroked her hair.

“It’s okay going to be okay,” Alyssa said. “I promise. You, me, and her.” She set a hand on her stomach. Emma put hers over her own, and there was a small kick in response to the touch. It made Emma smile slightly.

“EJ?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes.

“We’ll see.”

* * *

_ It started as a memory. _

_ Alyssa’s eyes opened to dim yellow sunlight peeking out through pinkish clouds. She sat up slowly, groaning at the soreness in her limbs and dim pounding in her head, and looked around, realizing she was on the ferry. _

_ “What the...?” _

_ Sprawled around her were Kevin, Emma, and Kaylee. _

_ Where was Winnie? _

_ “Ugh...” Kevin moaned to her left. He sat up slowly, his arms shaking beneath his weight. “Where— what happened? Are we—?” _

_ “Did we win?” Emma asked, and Alyssa realized she was awake, too. So was Kaylee. _

_ But there was still no Winnie. _

_ “I think-- I think we did,” Kaylee said. “I think we’re free.” _

_ “Free!” Kevin echoed, eyes wide. “We did it! We’re okay! We SURVIVED!” _

_ “I wish you wouldn’t put it like that,” Emma said wryly. _

_ “Well, it’s true!” _

_ “Hey... Where’s Winnie?” _

_ They all fell silent. The only sound was the splashing of waves and screeching of early sea birds. _

_ “She-- I thought she was with you!” Kevin said.  _

_ “She was!” Alyssa said. “But then-- there was this tape player down there and we wound it and--” Her blood turned icy. “I, like-- I disappeared. I was in this-- I don’t even know what, but I wasn’t in the bunker and--” _

_ “Winnie’s gone?” Emma asked softly. _

_ Silence fell upon them again. _

_ “She...” Kaylee’s voice was hoarse when she spoke up. “She gave herself to them. She sacrificed herself. For us.” _

_ “So she’s...” There were tears in Kevin’s eyes. “No! No, she can’t be gone!” _

_ Kaylee shook her head grimly. She was crying, too. “She closed the gate.” _

_ Alyssa couldn’t breathe. She had to walk over to the railing of the ferry and stare down at the water, but looking at the roiling waves did little to help her. _

_ Her little sister was gone. Good as dead. Never coming back. _

_ And then, the memory became something else. _

_ The ocean seemed to shift, but not in the way it normally should. It churned against itself, turning into a strange green shade with speckles of pink and yellow and blue, and then, horrifyingly, something began to emerge out from it. _

_ A hand. _

_ And then an arm. _

_ And then a head and a body. _

_ Her sister. _

_ Winnie. _

_ “Alyssa!!” Winnie screamed, fighting in the water, which looked more and more like the Gate the longer Alyssa stared at it with bulging eyes. “Hel--” _

_ A huge, clawed hand shot out of the water and yanked Winnie back under. _

_ It was the resulting scream that jarred Alyssa out of her dream. _

* * *

Alyssa shot up in her bed, breathing heavily, soaked in sweat. A moment later, Emma bolted awake next to her.

For a long minute, they just stared at each other.

Then, in a small voice, Alyssa said, “Emma...we have to go back.”


	2. [time loop two]

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it…. Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

Winnie blinked and looked up from the wine-dark waves lapping at the side of the ferry. She turned, feeling the sensation of pins and needles spreading up her arm thanks to how long she had been leaning against the guard rail, and faced the two teenagers standing a few feet away from her.

The first was familiar- he was tall, lanky, and bright-eyed. He was grinning like a mischievous gremlin- or maybe a raccoon, to be more realistic, however “monkey” jumped out at Winnie, too.

The second was...also familiar- more muscular, darker skin, and her silky hair was drifting softly in the breeze whisking across the boat. Winnie felt like she should have been wary upon seeing her beanie, as beanies were never good news, but felt comfortable around this girl...as if she had been with her for years.

“Man, this is...” She finally said, learning how to speak and enunciate again. She pulled her green coat closer around her. “Sorry, this is just so familiar. Like-- I dunno, I feel like you’ve said all this before.”

“Well, yeah, I’ve probably said it to _you_ before,” Kevin said. “But it’s new to Alyssa! And she’s downright enraptured! Right?”

“Huh?” Alyssa blinked.

“Right!”

Winnie laughed slightly, but she couldn’t help but feeling like she was forgetting something...that something was...wrong.

“So, she’s all moved in?” Kevin asked.

“Uh-- not-- not really.” The girl, Alyssa, answered. “She just got in this morning.” She glanced at Winnie, who nodded.

“And how did this whole thing come to be again?” Kevin continued with the questioning.

The girl laughed slightly. “There was this, ah, DNA test thing because of my father and-- actually, I’m not even gonna tell this story.”

“A DNA test was done because Alyssa’s mom found out about another child that her husband had and she wanted to meet them, which ended up being me, but it turns out that was a coverup because she actually was the one with the other child,” Winnie said, and she had no idea where the words were actually coming from. “She gave me up for adoption after I was born, I think because she had an affair, and wanted to see me again. And when she found me, she took me back into her custody because my other parents were happy to give me away.”

Alyssa and Kevin stared at her.

“Oh my god!” Kevin laughed. “That’s amazing! Like-- funny!”

“I didn’t know my mom had an affair,” Alyssa said, and Kevin shrieked with even louder laughter.

“THAT’S EVEN BETTER!!”

The waves of the ocean jarred the boat slightly. Winnie didn’t miss the way Alyssa clenched one hand on the guard rail. Kevin, however, didn’t even stumble as he made his way to the deck to look out on the nearby island.

“Away from that--” Kevin tittered. “You guys just met tonight?”

“No, actually,” Alyssa swiveled around to keep Kevin in her sights. “We’ve talked over text and have met up and stuff, but my mom finally got custody of her this week.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “This’ll be our first time really spending time with each other, though.”

“And what does that make you, then?”

Winnie and Alyssa exchanged looks, blinking. They both turned back to Kevin, whose eyebrows were raised in interest. That gremlin side of him was coming out strong.

“A, uh…” Alyssa used her free hand to scratch her head. “A second cousin?”

“Seriously, didn’t we talk about this already?” Winnie said. “She’s my half-sister, it’s not--”

“Oh yeah,” Kevin laughed, cutting her off. “I forgot that was even a thing!”

Once again Winnie and Alyssa gave each other glances. Winnie noted how she seemed more relaxed after her half-sister statement, which made her oddly happy.

“Well, you seem cool!” Kevin began again, “Cool girl, cool hat…you get a cool new sibling living right in your house!” He smirked. “Sharing your toothbrush…wearing your clothes…”

“No, that’s--” Winnie’s voice faltered. She heard Alyssa snort into her hand. “That’s the weird part. Don’t make it weird, Kevin! Getting a new sister isn’t like-- like getting a puppy or something.”

“No, yeah, it’s been totally bizarre.” Alyssa said. “But, for the record,” She looked at Winnie, “I don’t consider you to be a pet.”

Those words were left awkwardly hanging in the air before the waves seemed to wash them away with another bob to the boat. Alyssa clenched her hand on the railing again, and used the other to straighten her beanie, which the wind had been trying to rip right off of her head.

“So…” Alyssa started. “How did you two meet?”

“Oh, from way back when! Like, Paleozoic! Grade school era!” Kevin said enthusiastically. “Young enough that I’ve seen her naked in a bathtub and it wasn’t sexual at all. I mean, we both looked like little skinned potato blobs--”

“Ahhh, Kevin!!” Winnie squealed. She could feel her ears flaming red. Alyssa gave a laugh. “Why are you even talking about that?!”

“It’s humorous!” Kevin laughed. Before he could go on and possibly embarrass Winnie again, a voice on the ferry’s loudspeaker spoke up.

_**“PASSENGERS, WE WILL BE ARRIVING SOON. CHECK UNDER YOUR SEAT TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVEN’T LEFT ANY OF YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS.”** _

And, as it did so, Kevin repeated the speech in a bored, stoic voice. Winnie found herself doing it, too...as if she had done this before.

“And hear more about the fascinating events of this landmark,” She said. “It’s strange the things that stick to your brain, you know?”

“Have you guys, like, done this before?” Alyssa tilted her head.

“Not spend the night, no,” Kevin said. “But come here? Yeah! Since we were wee ones. Oh!” A new idea had already popped into his head. “We should get a picture! All of us!”

“Sure, why not,” Winnie shrugged. “Come on, ‘Lyssa.”

Alyssa nodded and finally pried her hand loose from the guard rail. They both walked over to Kevin, who held up his phone and snapped a photo of all of them.

“There, great!” Kevin beamed. “Also…it’s Alyssa, right? Not Alicia?”

“Yeah,” Alyssa nodded. 

“Cool! Oh, hey, Winnie! You brought the radio, right?”

“Of course,” Winnie said, then pulled a small, portable radio out of her pocket. It felt weird in her hand, giving her the strangest feeling of dread. “What’s it for, exactly?” She craned her head around to look at Alyssa and said, “He sent me around twenty messages in all caps to bring this thing.”

Alyssa laughed.

“You’ll see,” Kevin said. “Trust me, it’ll be cool!”

Winnie nodded and began to fiddle with the dial. The radio crackled to life and spit out various stations as a horn blared and the mist rolling over the ocean in its own waves of white parted so they could see an island coming up. The ferry began to slow as it came to the docks.

_“--hello? Hello, is anyone out there? Wi--”_ Static roared over the voice that weirdly cut off a podcast she has switched to.

Her voice.

That had been her voice. 

Something was wrong.


	3. alsos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the shorter chapters!! i'm trying to make them longer, but i don't want to shove everything into one chapter, so it's separated a lot

After the island, Emma, Alyssa, Kaylee, and Kevin had become closer than ever before. Alyssa was welcomed with open arms into the group and Kaylee softened her thorns, becoming much nicer to everyone around her. They were codependent in a way, never wanting to be away from each other, and who could blame them after all they had been through?

Kevin took up cooking as a way to cope after Edwards Island and ended up going to culinary school to pursue a career as a chef. He catered at Emma and Alyssa’s wedding, as well as his own when he eventually got married to Emma’s cousin, Greg. He stopped doing weed, too, wanting to reform from his addiction. Emma thought he blamed himself over what happened because of the brownie he ate.

Kaylee was in therapy the longest after Edwards Island. She also had a psych ward scare, but managed to stay out of a mental hospital with enough coping and recovery. Now, she was a cheer coach at the local high school and had a deep care for all of her students, especially any redheads she came across. It was a huge contrast to the way she used to be.

It was Alyssa’s idea to round the whole gang up at a bar and grill in town. Emma still didn’t like the idea of bringing up Edwards Island to the others, especially since it was basically an unspoken rule to not talk about what went down That Night. But Alyssa was adamant, and Emma couldn’t say no to her wife.

It was ten o’clock and Emma was already drinking. She usually wasn’t the type to drink that often or that early, but she needed the buzz of alcohol to get her through the conversation that would come soon. It also helped dull the memories that were fighting their way to the front of her brain.

Emma deeply repressed her trauma of the island. She didn’t make amends with what happened because making amends meant she had to think about it, and the last thing she wanted was that mess replaying in her head, so she just decided to suppress all of it. She did a good job, too, but after ten years, the dam she had built up seemed to be falling to pieces right before her eyes.

She couldn’t take it.

She didn’t want to face the waves hidden behind that stoney wall.

Kevin showed up first, smelling strongly of butter and spices. He was wearing a wide grin, as he usually was, so oblivious to the thing that would soon wipe that smile right off his face. Guilt twisted in the pit of Emma’s stomach.

“Hey, guys!” Kevin greeted them brightly. Alyssa dipped her head so he could kiss her crown, and Emma gave him a friendly fist bump. He sat down across from them in the booth. “It’s good to see you two again! How have you been?”

“Good,” Alyssa said, and Emma knew she was half-lying. 

“Hello, ladies,” A fourth voice emerged from the noise of the restaurant. “And Kevin.”

Kaylee strode over and slid in next to Kevin. She was as regal and hawk-like as always.

“How is everyone?” Kaylee asked after a waitress took their orders.

“Good.” Another lie.

“And the baby?” Kevin asked.

Alyssa gently touched her stomach and grinned. “She’s good, too.”

Kevin and Kaylee’s eyes widened. 

“She!” Kevin exclaimed. “A girl!” He whipped his head to Kaylee. “I told you! Pay up!”

Kaylee rolled her eyes in a good-natured way and pulled a ten dollar bill out of her wallet. Kevin swiped it from her proudly. 

“You bet on the gender of our baby?” Emma asked them.

“What else are friends supposed to do when they find out someone in the group is pregnant?” Kaylee questioned her back. 

“It’s our job!” Kevin added.

Emma and Alyssa both laughed, but it gave Emma a bad taste in her laugh. It felt inappropriate to laugh with the grim news they held. The anticipation was killing her.

“Have you picked a name out yet?” Kaylee asked.

“EJ!”

“ _ No _ ,” Alyssa said before the word could even leave Emma’s mouth completely. She shot her a look while Kaylee and Kevin tittered. “We’re still deciding.”

“Well,  _ I  _ have picked out a name, at least,” Emma said. “And it’s a  _ good name. _ ”

“In your dreams,” Alyssa said, and that made Emma’s heart twist uncomfortably in her chest.

There were different things in her dreams than a baby name.

Apparently her disturbance showed on her face because Kaylee called her out on it, sounding worried. Alyssa shifted next to her.

“There’s a reason why we called you both here,” Alyssa said.

“Oooo, this sounds like some kind of superhero meeting,” Kevin joked. “What’s up?”

Alyssa looked at Emma, who slumped back in the booth, then plunged into the topic they all hated.

“Have you guys been having…dreams?”

Kaylee understood instantly. In a split second, her mature, stoic expression broke away into underlying fear and intimidation. She sat up straight and glanced around the restaurant, as if she were expecting those damned ghosts to materialize out of nowhere and possess her like they did all those years ago.

Kevin, on the other hand, did not understand at first.

“Doesn’t everyone have dreams?” He said. “Mine are  _ weird.  _ The amount of times I’ve been chased by crabs with knives in their weird little pincers… Maybe it’s because I’m a chef? I think it’s all the crabs I’ve cooked coming back to haunt me.”

Something else was about to be haunting them…

“No, Kevin,” Alyssa said. “Dreams about…” Her voice lowered as she leaned in. “…the island.”

_ Now  _ Kevin got it.

He went pale, swallowing thickly. His finger began to shred the corner of his napkin.

“O-oh,” He said. “Umm…” He looked supremely uncomfortable with the topic, as Emma had been expecting. “Yeah… Yeah, I have.”

“I have, too,” Kaylee admitted. 

“So have we,” Alyssa said. “Last night-- I had a dream about when we were coming home. But Winnie was there. In the water. She was calling out to me. Asking for help.”

“I had the ghosts,” Kaylee spilled. She seemed fine with sharing, as if it were a relief to finally tell people about her nightmares. “They were…screaming. I thought I was going to get possessed again, but they kept saying that ‘I wasn’t the one they wanted’ and demanded to know where the ‘red-haired girl’ was.”

“Winnie…” Alyssa whispered, and Kaylee nodded with a grim frown in response.

“I was in the cave,” Kevin told them. “When we were tuning into those rock piles. But instead of the weird static that was supposed to happen, I heard a voice asking for help.”

All eyes slid over to Emma, but Emma didn’t want to speak, though. She didn’t want to share and cement it all as true. But the words curled in the back of her throat like acid and she began speaking without consent or control.

“I was down in Main Street with Winnie,” She said. “When we were supposed to get the key to unlock Angie Dickinson’s house. But instead of Kaylee being on the lamppost, it was Winnie, and she was saying stuff I could barely understand.” She didn’t look at any of them. “She sounded…sad. Desperate.”

Silence descended over the table. The waitress came gliding over with their food and seemed to sense the dark mood infecting the four of them because her eyebrows twitched together in concerned confusion. She didn’t say anything, however, as she quickly set their plates out and then walked away to tend to another party of people.

“What are we gonna do?” Kevin finally spoke, and his voice was but a hoarse whisper.

“I think it’s a sign,” Alyssa said. “Winnie, she’s-- she’s still alive.”

“You can’t be thinking what I think you’re thinking,” Emma mumbled uneasily.

“She is,” Kaylee said. “We have to go back to Edwards Island.”


	4. [time loop three]

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it…. Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

Winnie blinked and looked up from the wine-dark waves lapping at the side of the ferry. She turned, feeling the sensation of pins and needles spreading up her arm thanks to how long she had been leaning against the guard rail, and faced the two teenagers standing a few feet away from her.

The first was very familiar- he was tall, lanky, and bright-eyed. He was grinning like a mischievous gremlin- or maybe a raccoon, to be more realistic, however “monkey” jumped out at Winnie, too.

The second was also very familiar- more muscular, darker skin, and her silky hair was drifting softly in the breeze whisking across the boat. Winnie had instinctively become wary of her upon seeing her beanie, as beanies were never good news, but she had a warm voice and a kind smile. 

“We’ve done this before,” Winnie said, her voice low, talking more to herself than to the other two. 

“I mean, maybe  _ we  _ have,” Kevin said, but Winnie cut him off with a shake of her head.

“No, really,” Winnie looked around warily. “We’ve-- we’ve been on this boat, the three of us, before. I’ve heard that conversation about the polar bear sugar cookies, like, a few times already, I think. ‘Cause then you’re going to ask if I’m all moved into Alyssa’s house and Alyssa will say no and then you’re gonna ask how this all came to be in the first place, which was from a DNA test. You’ll ask what that makes us, I’ll say Alyssa is my half-sister, and, after that, we’ll tell her how we know each other.” It felt so surreal. “Don’t you guys remember?”

Alyssa and Kevin both blinked at her as if she had elephants parading out of her ears.

“Did you guys script this or…?” Alyssa looked at Kevin.

“Yeah, no,” Kevin said. “I have no idea what she’s talking about.”

Winnie gaped at them in shock. “Come on, guys! This isn’t funny anymore!”

“Seriously, Winnie,” Kevin said. “We have no clue what you mean.”

Winnie stared with wide eyes, then fished the radio out of her pocket. It felt heavy and cold and so, so wrong in her hands.

“Oh, hey!” Kevin perked up. “You brought it!”

“You’re going to tell me to tune into these rocks in the cave on the beach and then all this weird stuff is gonna happen,” Winnie told them. “How do you not remember? It’s kinda hard to forget! It was, like, really friggin’ scary!” 

“This sounds like some kind of thriller novel,” Alyssa chuckled. “I’m impressed, Winnie.”

Winnie’s jaw hung open. She couldn’t believe this.

Looking down at the radio, Winnie began to fiddle with the dial. Static burst from the speaker, and she knew for sure that something was wrong.

* * *

A horn blared as the mist rolling over the ocean in its own waves of white parted so they could see an island coming up. The ferry began to slow before coming to a halt at the docks. Kevin eagerly bounced off, followed by Winnie and Alyssa.

“Smell the clean air, boys and girls! Err-- Girls! This ain’t city livin’.” Kevin said, “So, the others should be up and around the bend and…”

“Actually--” Alyssa started abruptly. “I don’t mean to break us up already but-- Kevin, can I have a moment with Winnie?”

“Uhh--” Kevin blinked. “Really? I--”

“Hang on, Alyssa. I think I know what you’re gonna say.” Winnie said. “Yeah, it’s kinda weird about us becoming sisters so late in our teenage lives, but we’ll make do, alright? It’ll be okay. I’m glad to be a part of your family.”

“Oh, uhh--” Alyssa blinked. “Okay. Great.”

Winnie smiled at her, but it didn’t meet her eyes.

* * *

Be their lab partner for a whole semester, get stuck in an elevator with them for ten hours, and have them be your employee trainer at your new job at McDonalds- that was familiar, too, as were Winnie’s answers. Kaylee, Kevin, Emma, in that order.

Nothing new. Nothing has changed. 

Something was wrong, wrong, wrong.

* * *

There was an intercom in the cave, in front of the sparkling underground lake. That was familiar, too, but only faintly.

After speaking into the microphone and tuning into the weird floating triangle that appeared near the ceiling, a voice arose from out of nowhere.

_ That  _ was the most familiar.

“Öh. Ì†'§ ¥ðµ. Ägåïñ.” 

“Hello,” Winnie said warily to the ghosts. Alyssa looked shocked at her side.

“¥ðµ'll gïvê µþ. †hê §†rµgglê. †ð lïvê. †ð ê§¢åþê. Èvêñ†µåll¥.” Said The Sunken. “†hê wåvê§. Ì†'§ †hê wåvê§, wê †hïñk. †råñ§mï††êr§. ßlêêÐ †hrðµgh. §ð ð†hêr Wïññïê ¢åñ hêår. ßµ† ï†. Wðñ'†. Çhåñgê åñ¥†hïñg.”

She could feel The Sunken peering out from the Gate. Their smoldering red eyes burned holes through her flesh.

“£ïñê.” It said. “Äñð†hêr rðµñÐ. Ì£ ¥ðµ lïkê.”

Winnie closed her eyes. Another round.

“Lï§†êñ. ßðß †åïl. §håvê †åïl. §lêêþ¥ †ïmê gål.” 

Now she knew.

“Ì§. Lêåvê. Þð§§ïßlê.”

She didn’t know anymore.


	5. cold comfort

Water.

Water was what the air in and around this part of the city smelled like the most.

It was in the deep, earthen musk of the damp soil that lay beneath the lush, dew-soaked grass.

It was in the marshy fumes, sometimes sulfurous, sometimes sickly-sweet, of the patches of hidden swamp that lay in wait for unsuspecting feet.

It was in the carpets of fallen leaves that hid hollows between the tree roots, where pools could collect and play host to all things that crawled or squirmed through the wet.

It was in the very forest itself, coating wet leaves and bleeding from the dark, pulpy wood of the gnarled, old trees.

There was nothing dry about her hometown.

Fog, ghostly-grey and creeping on silent feet, drifted in low wisps over the crumbled and cold earth, painting the normally-stark outlines of the trees so pale that they faded into the sky rather than stood boldly against it. The mist had dissipated somewhat since anyone had last passed through this particular stretch of meadow, but not by much. Hours, though, or perhaps a day before, it had been as oppressive and thick as cold clam chowder.

Now it was slowly thinning out, listlessly lacking the eerie, almost lifelike malevolence with which it had pressed in upon the very soul before. There was a certain…uncertainty about the way it was hovering now, no longer pouring into every little hollow and alcove like milk over cereal. It was just there.

There, in a sort of in-between way. Lingering.

All was still, and--save for the rhythmic pitter-patter of falling rain--all was silent as well.

Except for herself, of course.

It was movement in the stillness that preceded the first disruption of the tranquility of the forest; the silk-thin web of drifting mist that hung in the air like lace slowly began to slide forward, rolling away from her feet like a translucent white carpet, perhaps in front of some ghostly noble attending an afterlife celebration in their name. Right from the incident on Edwards Island, her movement through this strange, still world, which her life had become, had felt alien and out of place, but it had never felt that way more than right now.

With each footstep, a narrow patch of soggy grass pressed down and sent a miniature pool of moisture bubbling up around the edges of her boots and in through invisible gaps in the leather, oozing into her already-saturated socks and settling in icy little pools in the dips where her toes went, setting the blisters on the skin alight with fresh pain. If her feet hadn’t already been numb from the wet and cold, she might have cared more. But everything from her toes to her feet and the soaked leather that clung stiffly to them was in no shape to feel anything but the dull warning sting of oncoming pins and needles.

Besides, Kaylee had other things on her mind right now.

Like how the small radio she had recently bought weighed like a ton of metal in her pocket.

Like how her arms constantly felt like they were being held down with an unfathomable weight.

Like how lifting her feet from the indents they made in the muddy undergrowth kept on getting harder and harder to do. Her legs felt heavier with each step and the little grassy pools made squelchy noises of protest, sucking hungrily at her feet each time they left the earth. Behind her in the grass, there was a long trail of tiny shoe-shaped lakes, like murky little grey-green cousins of the ones back on the island.

Like what was going to happen in just a few hours.

There was a  _ clank-CLONK _ and a gentle patter as droplets of condensation came raining down from where they’d collected on the bars of the cemetery gate. There was no real latch, so she just pushed it open. There had been one once, but it had rusted away under the perpetual wet.

…Or maybe it hadn’t.

The gate’s movement ground to a halt after a mere few inches, hindered by tufts of almost-oily grass which had been allowed to grow out of control around the edges of the compound for what had probably been years. They snagged on the metal almost as though they were alive, gripping its frame with the sort of desperation one normally only saw from a particularly needy child clinging to its mother’s arm while she was on her way to work.

A half-hearted hiss of frustration escaped her as the gate’s creaking cut off. She clenched sore and swollen fingers around the wet bars, feeling flakes of rust and ancient, now-colorless paint crumble away and stick to her fingertips, which the condensation in the air had turned pruny and pale pink, like anemic raisins. When further shoving only yielded that rubbery, elastic sound that wet wild grass sometimes got, she let out a puff of air and gave up for the moment, leaning in to rest her forehead against the cool metal as she slouched, peering through the bars at the army of tombstones lined up within. She was so close to relief and salvation and maybe even a little bit of closure, and a damn hunk of metal was standing in her way.

Kaylee tried one more time, desperation straining through her pulls, but she gave up when the flowers in her hands were nearly crumpled in her attempt. She would have to go around through the front, much to her dismay. 

Nothing was worse than visiting a cemetery on a rainy, gloomy day. That was why she had been trying to get in through a backdoor in the first place; she didn’t want to pound her abysmally low mood further into the ground by being seen by people when she entered, especially since she had a headstrong, confident, unshaken persona to uphold, even though it was a perfectly normal thing to do. 

The gatekeeper looked almost suspicious when she shambled up to the wide gothic front gate, and she didn’t really blame him. She didn’t have an umbrella, she was whiteknuckling a handful of flowers like her life depended on it, and her shoes were covered in so much mud that it looked like she had just been dredged out of a mudslide. But, then again, most people who visit a cemetery in the rain must all take on such an appearance in some way, so he shook off the expression on his face and asked for the plot number of the grave being visited. Kaylee told him, he checked to make sure she was telling the truth and not just trying to get in to grave rob or something, and then opened the gate. Kaylee thanked him and stepped inside the cemetery.

And, like that, all the strength was drained out of her body. It was the same sensation she felt when she was on the ferry ride home, a coagulated sense of shell-shock that was like having the flu. After the night on the island, for the longest time, small physical tasks that she would have normally have found easy took everything out of her, like how taking a simple step forward was right now. And although she had gotten much better after all these years, the lingering trauma still came back to bite her, and it bit  _ hard. _

Kaylee would never survive the trip if she couldn’t find a way to put the incident in the past where they belonged. It would be devastating if she sank any further into the pit that disaster had left behind. Nobody said recovering from a traumatic event would be easy, but at this point she was just hoping that it was even possible.

Kaylee began to walk down the stone pavement that was clean of any weeds that may grow in between the rocks, leaving muddy footprints in her wake. There were only a few people in the cemetery, all with fitting black umbrellas, as if the dark color was a mandatory dress code for grave-visiting. Most of them didn’t look up at her as she passed by, but one glanced over and seemed to recognize her as someone who used to live in Edgewater by the way their eyebrows raised up. Kaylee plodded on, looking away.

Her knees felt weak by the time she almost reached her destination and she thought she may just black out before she even got there, but then she noticed something that made her sober up instantly from her daze.

The Gonzalez tombstone.

It was upright, like most of the tombstones in the cemetery, and a shiny grey color. There was a black cross etched at the top and had several flowers surrounding the base.

**IN LOVING MEMORY OF**

**Shelby R. Gonzalez**

**1992-2009**

**A wonderful Daughter, Niece, and Friend**

That was what was written upon the granite. 

Kaylee breathed out softly and closed her eyes. For the longest time, Shelby’s death was the worst thing that had happened in her life. Now, it just felt a dull pinch on her heart, a mere scratch compared to the oozing gash that Edwards Island had left behind.

She remembered the funeral. Despite the mortician’s best efforts, Shelby’s skin still had a sickly blue tint to it from death by asphyxiation and excessive water ingestion. It had been hard to recognize her as the girl she had fallen in love with.

Kaylee stood there for a moment, dipping her head respectfully, but had to move on. She couldn’t waste anymore time.

Before she left the tombstone, she snapped a flower off of her bouquet and set it down in the dirt.

Kaylee walked and walked, slower and slower as she got closer to her destination. She didn’t want to be there alone, she didn’t want to accept that it happened, even after the ten years that had passed by. But she was there and, for a moment, her breath got caught in her throat, a bundle of emotions that were finally finding their strength to come up and be heard.

She didn’t want to be there.

But then, finally, she was.

It was a kerbed headstone, upright with a bed of marble stretching out for flowers and other offerings to the dead, though it was currently empty of flowers and trinkets. The tomb was ebony black and embedded with tiny flecks of silver quartz that looked like sparkling stars in a clear night sky. Carved out in gold lettering, the bearer of the tomb was written out:

**HERE LIES**

**GUINEVERE BLAIR THOMPSON**

**FEBRUARY 29th, 1995**

**NOVEMBER 13th, 2010**

Kaylee set the flowers down. She shivered, then bowed her head, trying to pray to whatever god that may have been listening, but prayers and association to any kind of otherworldly beings only made her feel sick nowadays. 

“Damnit,” Kaylee sighed, rubbing her face slowly. When she looked up again, she saw something in the nearby trees…a raven with patchy plumage that reflected rainbows across the black feathers in the dim grey light. It tipped its head at her, cawed once, then flew off in a flurry of sparkling ebony.

“Sorry I haven’t come by in awhile,” Kaylee whispered. “I moved. Still in Indiana, though. Just away from here.” She kicked a pebble. “I’m a cheer coach now. Who would have thought, right?” She paused, her voice softening. “I miss you.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. And then another. And then another.

“Alyssa does, too.”

Another beat of silence. Kaylee sniffled, trying to wipe away any more tears, but they just kept coming.

“We all do.”

Silence. In her head, Kaylee begged,  _ Please. Please say something. Move something. Show me that you’re still there. _

“I miss you,” She whispered again. 

When she got no reply of any kind, she hiccuped. Which built into a whimper. Which built into a sob. 

Kaylee began to sob, sinking to her knees. She dug her fingers into the gravel and dirt surrounding the grave, relishing the feeling of flint and rocks scraping against her skin. She shivered and shuddered, unable to calm herself because waves upon waves of bottled-up grief and guilt were slamming against her at max force. All she could do was kneel there and cry and cry and cry until she couldn’t cry anymore and just gasped pathetically.

“You were amazing, Winnie, I hope you know that,” Kaylee choked out. “You truly were a blessing. And I am so honored I got to meet you, you wonderful, sweet girl. And I’m sorry-- for the way I treated you. I’m sorry.”

She sniffled and wiped her stinging eyes. When she looked up, she tried to imagine that Winnie was there, perched on her gravestone, peering down at her.

She would be there. She would be there soon.

“We’re coming, Winnie,” Kaylee whispered. “Hang on.”


	6. [time loop seven]

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it…. Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

Winnie blinked and looked up from the wine-dark waves lapping at the side of the ferry. She turned, feeling the sensation of pins and needles spreading up her arm thanks to how long she had been leaning against the guard rail, and faced the two teenagers standing a few feet away from her.

The first was very familiar- he was tall, lanky, and bright-eyed. He was grinning like a mischievous gremlin- or maybe a raccoon, to be more realistic, however “monkey” jumped out at Winnie, too.

The second was also very familiar- more muscular, darker skin, and her silky hair was drifting softly in the breeze whisking across the boat. Winnie had instinctively become wary of her upon seeing her beanie, as beanies were never good news, but--

But something was  _ wrong. _

“Mission control to Winnie? This is Big Papa. Do you read me?” Kevin said, and this was the first time Winnie heard  _ that  _ line. She had never ignored him before, always replied to him calling for her attention, but the change in words did little to calm her racing heart.

She was still here.

“Yeah, Alyssa, what you’re seeing right now is what I like to call a ‘trip,’” Kevin said to Alyssa, wheeling around on his heels to the girl. “It’s this blank stare thing Winnie will do sometimes. You might think something’s wrong, but there isn’t. She’s just rebooting.”

Alyssa laughed. “Noted.”

Without saying a word on the conversation, Winnie ripped the radio out of her pocket and stared at it. It felt like a bundle of dark matter in her hand.

“Eyy!” Kevin said. “You brought it! Great! Now we can do the weird cave thi-- hey, what are you doing?! Winnie!”

Winnie didn’t listen to him as she threw the radio as far as she could into the ocean.

“Dude!” Kevin proclaimed. “Why did you do that?! I told you to bring it for the CAVES! If you wanted to test your arm strength, why didn’t you use your shoe or something?!”

Alyssa was laughing. “My new baby sister hates radios! I’ll make sure to get rid of mine.”

(you had no idea.)

Winnie stepped back away from the railing, knees weak, head full of cotton. Her sinuses suddenly felt like they were stuffed with leaves. She snuffled.

“Sorry,” She whispered to Kevin. “I had to.”

Kevin blinked. “Uhh… Why?”

“Listen to me,” Winnie turned to him and Alyssa fully. “Really listen, okay? This is gonna sound crazy, but in the caves--”

“¥ðµ †hïñk. Ì† wïll ßê. †hå†. Èå§¥?”

Winnie’s heart sank.

“Who is that?” Alyssa asked.

“Oh god, no--”

... --- .-. .-. -.-- / - .... .- - / .. / .-- . -. - / .- .... . .- -.. .-.-.- / -. --- - / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ..-. .- ..- .-.. - .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / - .-. . -. - .-.-.-

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it…. Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

Winnie blinked and looked up from the wine-dark waves lapping at the side of the ferry. She turned, feeling the sensation of pins and needles spreading up her arm thanks to how long she had been leaning against the guard rail, and faced the two teenagers standing a few feet away from her.

The first was very familiar- he was tall, lanky, and bright-eyed. He was grinning like a mischievous gremlin- or maybe a raccoon, to be more realistic, however “monkey” jumped out at Winnie, too.

The second was also very familiar- more muscular, darker skin, and her silky hair was drifting softly in the breeze whisking across the boat. Winnie had instinctively become wary of her upon seeing her beanie, as beanies were never good news--

“No,” Winnie whispered. 

The 8th Kevin blinked at her. “Everything alright?”

Beside him, the 8th Alyssa looked concerned, but Winnie couldn’t bear to meet her eyes.

Winnie ripped the radio out of her pocket and threw it on the ground as hard as she could. The metal sheared and crackled in response, antenna popping off, and a wave of static hit Winnie after it was broken.

8th Kevin began to freak out, as he had done before. Alyssa looked even more concerned. Sweat beaded on Winnie’s forehead.

“ñï¢ê. †r¥.”

Winnie sobbed.

... - .. .-.. .-.. / .... . .-. . .-.-.- / -.-. .- -. -. --- - / -- --- ...- . .-.-.- / ...- . .-. -.-- / -.-. --- .-.. -.. .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / - .-. . -. - .-.-.-

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it…. Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

Winnie blinked and looked up from the wine-dark waves lapping at the side of the ferry. She turned, feeling the sensation of pins and needles spreading up her arm thanks to how long she had been leaning against the guard rail, and faced the two teenagers standing a few feet away from her.

The first was very familiar- he was tall, lanky, and bright-eyed. He was grinning like a mischievous gremlin- or maybe a raccoon, to be more realistic, however “monkey” jumped out at Winnie, too.

The second was also very-- very-- very--

Winnie’s head spun. She took out the radio, threw it on the ground, and smashed it with her foot. 

The 9th Kevin and Alyssa gaped at her in confusion and shock.

“Winnie--”

“Wê ¢åñ. Ðð †hï§. Äll. Ðå¥.”

.... .- .-. -.. / - --- / - .... .. -. -.- .-.-.- / .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / - .... . .-. . ..--.. / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / - .-. . -. - .-.-.-

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it…. Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

Winnie threw the radio into the ocean, then jumped in after it. 

She didn’t swim.

She couldn’t swim.

“Wê håvê. Äll †hê †ïmê. Ìñ †hê. WðrlÐ.”

\--. . - - .. -. --. / ... -.-. .- .-. . -.. .-.-.- / .-.. --- ... .. -. --. / - .... .. -. --. ... .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / - .-. . -. - .-.-.-

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it…. Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

Winnie threw the radio into the window.

\-- .. ... ... / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . / .- -. ... .-- . .-. .-.-.- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . .-.-.- / .-.. --- -. . .-.. -.-- .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / - .-. . -. - .-.-.-

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were--”

“Stop--”

Winnie smashed the radio on the ground again.

.- -. --. .. . ..--..

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong--”

“It’s wrong, it’s wrong--”

Winnie ripped the radio apart with her bare hands.

.- -. --. .. . .-.-.- / .-.. --- ... .. -. --. .-.-.- / .-.. --- ... .. -. --. / - .... .. .-.-.- / .-.. --- ... .. -. --. .-.-.- / .-.. --- ...- . --..-- / - .-. . -. - .-.-.-

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a--”

“Stop!”

Winnie dropped the radio into the motor blades.

.-.. --- ...- . --..-- / - .-. .

“It used to be a military b--”

“STOP!!”

Winnie collapsed to her knees, sobbing, rocking back and forth, covering her ears with her hands. Above her, the 15th Kevin and Alyssa looked down at her, worried and confused, oblivious to the endless cycle of torture.

Winnie didn’t speak for the remainder of that loop.


	7. argonaut

A sleek grey seagull was perched on the wooden guard rail around the churning green ocean. It shifted from foot to pink foot, ruffling unruly feathers, and squinted beady black eyes up at the ship looming nearby. It looked suspicious of the vessel and even more suspicious of the people exiting its mass.

And the people about to board its mass.

Alyssa could  _ feel  _ the anxiety her friends and wife were exerting. They all looked at the ferry as if it were an old enemy and, in a way, it was. 

Nobody said this was going to be easy.

It had been a long ten years since her life had last  _ been _ easy.

The ferry port looked the same. The sign advertising the ride to Edwards Island was a duller white than it used to be, the paint fading and flaking off, desperately needing a new coating, but still saying the same thing it had That Night-  **_“DON’T MISS THE BOAT! Take the ride to the historical Edwards Island!”_ **

There were a few rickety wooden shacks set up, their paint job as shoddy as the sign, selling trinkets and water bottles and other overpriced items that swindled naive tourists out of their money. A few kids were leaning treacherously over the edge of the ancient boardwalk, squealing about the fish they saw, while a mother was trying to herd her sopping wet family in for a selfie. Most of the workers were packing up and leaving for the day as the sun began to descend the sky, the last ferry finally coming into port.

After everything that had happened, it was so easy to forget that this place was supposed to be a tourist location…a resort town.

That was what it was supposed to be to them back then.

It felt sort of inappropriate to keep the tourist trap up after the tragedy that had happened on the island. Even though the public didn’t know the extent of the incident, shouldn’t a missing girl be enough to shut the place down for good? But alas, more shops sprung up upon the bloated, waterlogged carcass of Edwards Island, luring more and more people into its remains. 

Well. It would be a lot harder to get back if it had been closed down.

Everyone had met up at Alyssa’s mom’s house. Mrs. Greene was delighted to see them all, greeting them with warm hugs and bright smiles. She cooed over Alyssa’s pregnant belly for the longest time, asking questions about the gender and health and name, before they were able to escape and head towards the port.

Alyssa would never admit it out loud, but she was terrified.  _ Beyond  _ terrified, even. She had only ever seen this place in her dreams, and even then it was horrifying. But actually being there was way worse than anything her mind could conjure in her sleep.

She didn’t want to be here.

But she had to.

“I feel like we’re teenagers again,” Kevin commented on the whole thing, trying to ease the thick tension hanging over all of them. “This is like a sleepover!”

Alyssa chuckled. “Kind of.” 

“That’s one way to put it,” Emma mumbled. She hadn’t been in a good mood all day, not that Alyssa blamed her. To be here again was like being in hell, but Alyssa now knew that hell was a mercy compared to Edwards Island.

“Come on,” Kaylee said. “We gotta get moving before Karen changes her mind.”

Karen was the same captain that had taken them to Edwards Island all those years ago. Alyssa didn’t know  _ why  _ she was even doing this for them, especially since the ferry wasn’t supposed to run after dark, but she decided not to question it. They had their chance, and they couldn’t waste it.

Upon stepping onto the ferry, Alyssa felt a strange sensation sprint through her. Chills. Goosebumps were spread all over her skin.

As the ship began to pull out of the port, Alyssa, her wife, and her two friends were quiet for the longest time, not looking at each other from where they were seated on the benches. When Alyssa eventually spoke up, her voice sounded weirdly loud in the midst of the silent ocean.

“Do we have everything?”

“I got the walkie talkies,” Emma said, pulling one out of her pocket.

“I got some tools from Nick,” Kevin said, shaking the duffel bag strung around his shoulders, which had definitely looked a little suspicious coming in.

“I got the radio,” Kaylee said, and they all went quiet for a moment at that.

“Can we go over the plan one more time?” Emma asked. Ever since their meet-up at the restaurant a week ago, she hadn’t stopped looking nervous over the whole thing.

“Yeah,” Alyssa nodded, then began to rattle off what exactly they were going to do: “The cave is probably still blocked off, so we’re going to use the Call and Response method. Two of us will go into the woods, while the other two will receive the call and open the bunker. Then we’ll go in, open the Gate, and get Winnie out.”

“I still don’t understand why we have to open the Gate,” Emma said uneasily. “Won’t that just let the ghosts out all over again?”

“We won’t let them get out,” Alyssa assured her. “We’re all going home this time.”

They wouldn’t be able to recover if they didn’t.

Another moment of silence. Alyssa couldn’t sit down anymore. She got up and walked to the railing, breathing in the overpowering smell of the ocean and fog.

She wasn’t stupid enough to actually ever do anything bad to herself, but sometimes she wondered what it would be like to jump off the ferry- to let the front of the vessel pierce her body, to let it run her over, to let the propellers shred her into tiny, bloody pieces, to let the black water claim her. Would that be enough to make up for her not helping the little girl who was supposed to be her baby sister?

Would exchanging her life be enough to give Winnie a chance to live?

Sighing, Alyssa rubbed a hand over her face. She looked back at the ocean stretched all around her. The water below was roiling, waves crashing and clapping loudly against the ferry. Something in the sea seemed agitated, she could feel it. Like even nature itself knew something terrible had happened.

Kaylee came up and stood next to her.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Alyssa whispered. 

That was something Alyssa kept telling herself over and over again, and she knew it was true, no matter how scared she was, no matter what any news station said. She just had to remember that, even if nobody else did.

“It wasn’t all your fault,” She said again, this time a little louder. The ocean noises and the boat blocked out most sound, like it was trying to keep her unheard.

Maybe she deserved to be muted.

“I know,” Kaylee said. “Ghosts are nobody’s fault. Certainly not ours. But still, I think--” She shook her head.

Alyssa peered at her curiously. “What?”

“Nothing,” Kaylee said. “My head is just everywhere right now. I can’t believe we’re really going back.”

“Me too.”

They fell quiet- it seemed to be a running theme over the course of the ride. Or, perhaps, nobody really knew what to say.

What was there to say?

Edwards Island was starting to appear from the fog like a huge, looming castle from those old horror films. It was a lot bigger than Alyssa remembered it being and twice as scary. She felt dwarfed by its size, as if she were just a child in its midst.

Alyssa and her friends all hesitated when the ferry docked, long enough for Karen to honk the horn at them to get moving. The noise only made them all even more on edge, causing them to jump in shock and surprise before scrambling off onto the creaky wooden boardwalk. With a final blare of the horn, the boat began to pull out and leave, disappearing into the fog.

They were stuck there until morning.

Main Street was silent and dark, similar to the way it had been ten years ago when Alyssa was with Kevin and Winnie. It was creepy back then, but it was even creepier now that they knew exactly what the island held.

A thick fog was unraveled over the street. A single light was illuminating a sign that read,  **“EDWARDS ISLAND”** in big, blocky letters. The shops were empty and void of patrons, and the darkened interior through the frostbitten windows seemed to hold black figures that watched them as they passed by. There were red eyes on every reflective surface.

Alyssa felt like she was walking into her own grave. Her courage over the “mission” was depleting faster and faster as the seconds went by. She kept thinking she was seeing things out of the corner of her eye, hearing things that weren’t said, and it was driving her mad. She was supposed to be strong, she was supposed to be over all of this by now, but her trauma was coming back with vengeance, angered by her ability to tame it for so long.

For the last leg of the uphill trek to the field, she had almost been sleeping on her feet. Her eyes were open, but her head felt foggy with the fear of being here. She was running on autopilot at this point…as if something else were controlling her.

She’d come close to paying dearly for it a couple of times when the toe of her shoe snagged on a cleverly-camouflaged (meaning, of course, that it was right under her goddamn nose) uproot stone in the pavement that her bleary vision had astonishingly managed to miss during the slit-second sweep of the next few yards of street. But it wasn’t just her- Emma had veered over on the path further than intended, her trauma having the same effect as a bottle of vodka on a lightweight teen learning the time-honored practice of getting smashed. Kevin had taken a casual step forward, only for a chunk of wet, rocky rock to crumble under his foot and send him scrambling forward like he thought something had grabbed him by the ankle.

This island had already stripped everything  _ else _ away from them, so naturally their chances of being able to emerge from this ordeal with a little dignity were pretty much zilch at this point. Not that any of them were surprised.

They were all scared out of their minds, no matter how hard they tried to keep it from showing. And it certainly didn’t help when Alyssa thought she saw something again, but this time there  _ was  _ something, something staring at her from the windows of one of the shops.

She whirled around, breath catching in her throat, and met the eyes of her disheveled reflection.

Of course.

“Alyssa?” Emma sounded worried. She gently touched her shoulder. “What is it? What’s wrong? The baby?”

Alyssa managed to get a chuckle out from her wife’s anxious babbling. She set her hand over Emma’s and squeezed it.

“I’m okay,” She assured her. “We both are. I just thought I saw something, that’s all. But it’s nothing.”

Emma looked at her closely, then nodded. “Alright.”

“Come on,” Kaylee said. “We’re almost to the fence.”

Alyssa looked at the window one last time, then followed after the group, missing the figure of a girl who glitched into the existence upon the surface of the glass, watching them all go with glowing red eyes.


	8. [time loop thirty-two]

“Hello again,” Winnie said to the Gate, and the 32nd Alyssa looked stunned at her side. Her half-sister always looked that way when she spoke to The Sunken as if it were an old friend. In a way, it was.  _ They  _ were.

They were the only thing that ever changed, while everything else remained the same.

Over and over again.

Nothing ever mattered.

And yet, she was here. Again. Trying. Always trying.

“Hêllð,” Said The Sunken. “¥ðµ ¢åmê ßå¢k, Ðêår.”

“As I always do,” Winnie mused. “Do you doubt me?”

“Ñêvêr,” Said The Sunken. “Ñêvêr.”

“Winnie, what are you talking about?” Alyssa whispered at her side, but she ignored her. She couldn’t bear to hear her voice.

“Ì†'ll åll ßê ðvêr §ððñ,” The Sunken cooed, almost gentle with their static-filled words. It made her skin crawl, filled her skin with bugs.

Winnie smiled tiredly, letting her eyelids droop shut. “We both know that’s not true.”

“Hello again,” Winnie said, and the 33rd Alyssa looked freaked out at her side. Again. As always. Always, always, always. “I’m back.”

“¥ðµ årê,” Said The Sunken, and their voice was soothing, a lullaby for the banshees in her mind. “Wêl¢ðmê.”

She was infested, infested, infested, and she wanted it to STOP, but she knew, she knew--

“Let’s get this over with.”

They were in the cave, then the forest, then the fort, and it was all bleeding together, like water on a painting. The tower, the street, the Dickinson house, the bunker- but it all ended in the cave. Always.

“Hello again,” Winnie said, and there was no Alyssa this time.

  
  


“ 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕝 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕟 ?”

“US Army Radio Communications School,” Winnie rattled off. She’d done this before. “Cookies. 85. Those are the other two answers.” She looked up at the triangle window, at the red light bathing her, but not at Alyssa. Never at Alyssa. “Are you guys ever going to change up the questions?”

There was silence. The radio crackled. The static felt like bumblebees in her brain.

Alyssa was in front of her, eyes glowing red. 

**“We are an island race…”**

Winnie sighed. She was so tired.

  
  
  


**_WÈ ÐÌ Ð_ ** **_Ñ_ ** **_'† W Ä_ ** **_Ñ_ ** **_† †Ö ÐÌ È_ **

The static felt like a hurricane. The bugs were eating her alive from the inside out.

“I know,” Winnie whispered weakly into the hurricane of static.

  
  


she’s s

she’s screaming.

she’s 

  
  
  
  


“𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡,” Said the radio before Winnie could even open her mouth, and Alyssa looked stunned at her side. “𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕥𝕣𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘.”

“Hello again,” Winnie said, and the bugs ate her heart.

  
  


**“Now, we imagine you’re a bit confused,”** She said.  **“But don’t fret. This will be the final part of your training, Winnie.”**

“No,” Winnie croaked. She was on the floor, cold, dusty wood biting into her knees. She raked her chipped fingernails up her thighs, drawing blood. “Kaylee,  _ please _ .”

**“You signed up for this, Guinevere.”**

She wanted to--

She wanted--

  
  
  


blood made noises. it sounded like static when it came out. it sounded like static in her ears. 

“Keeping in mind who has been with you this entire night--”

“Keeping in mind who you’re tired of!” 

“Keeping in mind who’s  _ your sister! _ Who do you want going with you?”

They were fighting again. Again. Again. Always, always,  _ always  _ fighting and Winnie had heard it all before, over and over, and Winnie was  _ so tired. _

“Nobody. I’m going alone.”

“What?!”

“I’m going alðñê!!”

  
  


**_Ðïê. ï wåñ† †ð Ðïê._ **

**“Wê kñðw.”**

  
  


**“Soon, it won’t be a pretense, dear. It will be an absolute.”** Not-Alyssa said, and her words oozed from her lips like thousands of spiders.  **“Winnie, we know you’re in charge and we know your plan and we also know that your plan won’t work. It never does.”**

God, she  _ knew.  _ Did they know that she knew? Surely they did. But there was nothing else for her  _ to do.  _

“I’m so tired,” Winnie sobbed to the Gate, and the 76th Alyssa looked confused. Her half-sister couldn’t understand. Nobody could understand. 

“Wê kñðw,” Said The Sunken, and they seemed to caress her cheek with buzzing static. Winnie leaned into it, weeping. “Wê årê, †ðð.”

“It used to be a military base! Well…it used to be a ranching thing, then it turned into a military thing, then it became a bird thing and museum and-- whatever! Henry Fonda found a station here for a bit. Unless that’s wrong…”

“Who’s Henry Fonda?”

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these AMAZING polar bear sugar cookies! MAN, those were good! But then they had to go and change the recipe and ruin it… Winnie, hey? Still with us?”

  
  



End file.
